Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Everything is Done... Except the Waiting.

   We got word on Wednesday of last week that our agency had finally made contact with the last of our references and all the paperwork was then forwarded upstream.  What that means for us I'm not exactly sure.  Does that mean that our file has not yet been sent to, and reviewed by, the folks in Columbus who will, ultimately, have to issue our new foster home license?  Is Columbus already done and now we are only waiting on our agency to dot the "i"'s and cross the "t"'s?  Does that mean we will have our license this month or a month from now?  Honestly, I am utterly clueless.  All I know is that we will continue waiting.

   When we finally decided that the time was right to begin the process of another adoption from foster care, we knew that it would require classes and training, a new homestudy and all that goes with it.  We've been down that road before and much of it is familiar territory.  The weird part of this was, and is, how messed up the whole thing became when we found out we were moving.  Don't get me wrong, this had been a great move for us.  We love where we are, the church where I serve, the school that our kids attend, and the people that we live and work with.  We just never expected that transferring our homestudy to a new house (which is what we thought was going to happen) would take as long as it has.  Here we are, eight months later, and we still don't even have our license, let alone a placement.  Heck, without the license, we can't even be too serious about looking through the listings on AdoptUSkids.org. 

    I'm not blaming anyone.  It wasn't any one person's (or agency's) fault.  I know that the delays are an accumulation of choices that we made, as well as the choices of our new county and our new agency.  Moving delayed things.  Deciding we didn't like the county agency in out new residence delayed things.  Moving to a new agency and upgrading our license delayed things.  And on top of that, we lived through the loss of our Aunt Gladys who, generously, left us an inheritance.  Her gift to us is a fabulous blessing (of that I have no doubt) but the time we have needed, and will need for the next several months, to handle her estate, home and belongings, makes it somewhere between difficult and impossible to accept a placement right now, even if one were available.

We're hoping that life will calm down toward the end of summer and we will be ready for a placement.  Will one be available?  Will our agency need us to do respite care for someone amidst the chaos that is our summer?  Will a placement be available when we're finally ready?  To these questions, and others, my only answer is, "Who knows?"  In truth, we will do as we have always done.  We will continue to lean on, and trust, the wisdom and love that God has for us.  It's our lives, but it's his plan.

Meanwhile... we wait.


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

One Year and Counting

    Looking back at this blog I realized that we started our pre-service classes in February or March of 2012, which means that we've been chasing this rabbit for over a year now.  I guess technically, we were done at the end of last June but then everything got interrupted when we moved from Belmont County to Stark County.  At the moment, as far as i know, everything is done except that our agency, Guidestone, has been unable to contact one of our references.  I don't suppose it's the fault of anyone in particular, but just a sort of perfect storm.  First, someone waited to call our references after all of our additional required training was completed (because we are upgrading our license to a therapeutic foster home) and in doing so, managed to try to call one of them while they were out of state for a wedding and then away on vacation, then, when they returned and called back, no one answered and they left a message.  And then no one returned the message, until they were out of town again... I think.  Anyway, everyone is at home again so I hope they can quit playing phone tag and "Git 'er Done."

    In the meantime, our lives have taken a few turns as well.  Obviously, we moved and changed churches/employers last July and so unpacking and readjusting to new schools and a new community has been required, but there have been more adjustments as well.  In December, our Aunt Gladys passed away after a long battle with cancer and named Patti (my wife) as the executrix of her estate.  The legal hassles and the hours of work that this has drawn Patti into have been considerable and daunting.  We thank God regularly for good financial advice, a good attorney, and an employer that gives me a lot of flexibility.

    Since Lina will be 18 this fall, and therefore 17 years since we brought her home, we thought it was time for her to get a chance to see her homeland.  Therefore, on top of everything else, Patti and Lina are planning a heritage tour to China with Holt International, the folks who pioneered international adoption and who helped us bring Lina home to our family all those years ago.  As before, we are finding that the Holt folks are thorough, professional and just plain great.

    On top of all that, we are planning for my ordination as an Elder in the United Methodist Church in June, a family vacation in July, and my attendance at the National Association of Rocketry Annual Meet (NARAM) in Aurora, Ohio this summer, as well as various trips to summer camp, band camp, regular summer training runs for our student athletes and cross country camp.

    In essence, what I'm saying is that while Guidestone would like for us to just give them another reference so that can stop playing phone tag, our lives are currently spinning so fast, that we (at least me) don't really mind if this slows us down just a little bit.  While we would like to be "done" and have our license in-hand, I don't expect that we'd be totally available for a placement right now.  Could we squeeze in plans for one more child?  Probably, but as fast as we're spinning at the moment, they would have to run pretty hard to get on this crazy ride with us.