Second homestudy visit/thoughts on "The Process"

    Yesterday, we had our second visit by our social worker, Jennifer.  Once again we answered a bunch of questions but, again, none of them seemed to be terribly intrusive (more on that later).  We answered questions, filled out a few new forms and we gave Jennifer a copy of our floor plan/fire escape plan as well as our fire inspection that we completed last week.  After completing the paperwork portion of our meeting we gave her a brief tour of our home despite the boxes and ongoing evidence of packing for the move to our new home at the end of June (only four weeks left to pack - Yikes!).

    The first time that we had a homestudy, probably fifteen or sixteen years ago, I remember thinking that the process seemed extraordinarily intrusive.  I remember thinking that many of the questions seemed very personal and that I was very uncomfortable giving out highly detailed private financial information.  A decade and a half later it doesn't seem to be that big a deal but I am not entirely sure why.  I suppose that, in part, as a society we have become accustomed to having a little less privacy than we once did.  Combine that with out constant exposure to Facebook, Twitter, cell phones, text messages and other immediate news sources we, perhaps, feel that more people already know an awful lot about us and our private lives.  Mostly, however, I think it is simply that while fifteen years ago we had never given that sort of information out to anyone but our closest family (especially financial information) but in the intervening years we have given this information out many times for unemployment benefits, Medicaid benefits (while unemployed and underemployed), applications for state funded subsidies for counseling related to Reactive Attachment Disorder, financial aid applications, and employment related background checks.  While I am still not a big fan of giving someone (anyone) a detailed list of our assets and income, it doesn't bother me nearly as much as it did the first time.

    Still, be forewarned, if you are thinking of adopting or getting licensed for foster care, or if you have already begun that process, you will be asked to give out information about yourself that you may never have given out to anyone, even your parents or closest friends.  For us, it was not, and is not, a deal killer.  Uncomfortable?  Yes.  But the folks at Children's Services are decent, trustworthy people.  They have a real "need to know" this kind of stuff and they do a good job of keeping your private information private.  If I were you, I wouldn't let a little discomfort stop me from attaining one of life's most worthwhile goals.

    Trust me, despite all of the hassles and difficulties we've had raising our three kids over the last fifteen years, and despite all the trips to see counselors (and doctors, and orthodontists, etc.) there is nothing that I wouldn't do over again in a heartbeat.  Our kids are so awesome, and I am so proud of them, that I can never express it adequately in words.  If you are thinking of adoption, or if you have already started, do not let the process prevent you from reaching your goal.

Press on.

Persevere.

It will all be worth it in the end.

Homestudy News

    This week has been busy for us as we continue to pack but also to clean so that we can complete several tours and inspections that are needed for a variety of reasons.  First, we invited Ted, the pastor that will succeed me after we leave, and his family to come on Monday to have lunch, tour the house and to meet some of the teachers and coaches that will be important in their daughter’s life next year.  On Tuesday Jennifer, our social worker from Children’s Services, visited us to begin our homestudy and then in the afternoon our local fire chief stopped by to complete the fire inspection for our homestudy.  We still anticipate one more visit from the church trustees as they look over the house before we change pastors so that we can discuss what maintenance issues might need to be addressed as a part of the transition and in the coming months.

    We have also learned that most of our references have completed the required paperwork and have returned it to Jennifer.  All this means that so far, we are on track to complete our homestudy before we move to Stark County.  Again, our hope is that instead of starting over with a new county, this means that we will be able to simply ask Stark County to update our homestudy to reflect our new address (which of course will mean a visit from a new social worker as well as a new fire inspection), new church and new school.  All in all, still a complicated process but probably less than trying to start over again from square one.

    Tomorrow, we have to go to Cleveland Clinic for a check-up, to Akron for a funeral and to Newcomerstown for our district track meet.  Next week, Jennifer will come again for another visit, the first of the moving companies will come to give us an estimate, the kids will have their last day of school, and our daughter will run in the regional track meet.  I’m afraid that our lives will be lived at pretty much a dead run until after we move and maybe until school starts again in the fall.  In any case, hopefully by the time school starts we will be fully 'homestudied' and ready to bring home a new family member!  

That is still a both exciting and terrifying idea.  Change doesn't come easily to any of us and our family has been constant at the five of us for almost fourteen years.  I keep thinking of a line from the "Little Rascals" television show many years ago when the kid's coaster car was careening wildly down a gigantic hill.  In the midst of their excitement and fear, Stymie said, "I don't know where we're going, but we're on our way!"  I can relate.